summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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