We're facebook friends in real life
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
