Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
