ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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