it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Come share oat with me in your robe
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
