what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
