I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
