I wish i was in the wii world.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
