no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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