I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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