how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I believe in your delicious
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