So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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