Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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