I'm so fucking centered right now
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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