yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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