tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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