i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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