would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
