My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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