Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
