no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
