at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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