Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
