Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
