Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
as a side note pls kill me
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
