I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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