i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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