I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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