OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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