She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
