Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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