They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
