first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
