Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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