Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
