Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
