Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
