it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
