covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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