When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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