Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
