every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
