trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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