A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
