The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
