people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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