Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
