Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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