yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I cannot find my penis.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
