I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
