Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
