i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
