More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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