Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
