Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
