So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
